Deep Vibes

Depth Can Be Disruptive

“People can only meet you at the depth of which they have met themselves.”

Shallow people often get uncomfortable around deep people—not because the deep are doing anything wrong, but because depth demands presence. It challenges surface-level conversation, empty validation, and performative connection.

The Therapist’s Perspective

In therapy, we often return to the truth that self-awareness expands our capacity to connect. When clients learn to sit with their own discomfort—whether it’s shame, grief, or longing—they begin to strengthen the muscle of compassion. The more willing we are to meet ourselves honestly, the more capable we become of meeting others in their own depths.

Depth, however, is not surface-level. It asks real questions. It lingers in silence. It sees through masks. For someone who has built their world on distraction, pretense, or avoidance, this kind of presence can feel unsettling, even threatening.

Why This Matters in Relationships

This isn’t about blame—it’s about clarity. If you’ve ever felt unseen or misunderstood, it may not mean you are “too much.” It may simply mean the other person has not yet encountered those parts within themselves. Recognizing this can soften frustration into compassion, while also reminding us where boundaries are needed.

But remember: don’t shrink yourself to make others more comfortable. Your depth is not the problem—it’s the mirror. And not everyone is ready to look.

An Invitation

The invitation is always to turn inward first. The more you are able to face within yourself—with honesty and courage—the deeper your relationships can grow. Self-awareness is not selfish; it is the soil from which authentic connection blooms.

Keep meeting yourself with honesty—the rest will follow.

-LC