Cardi Vibes

“I’m pretty and I’m petty as f*ck.” — Cardi B, “Pretty and Petty”

Sometimes, you just want to be a petty bitch.
Yes, I really did just say that.

I think there’s this unspoken expectation that if you’re emotionally aware, self-reflective, or especially if you’re a therapist, you should always take the high road with grace and composure. Communicate calmly. Regulate. Validate. Repair. Rinse and repeat.

And truthfully? Most of the time, I do.

I apologize when I’m wrong. I initiate difficult conversations. I try to understand where the other person is coming from, even when I’m hurt. I believe in accountability. I believe in repair. I teach these skills to people for a living.

But sometimes, it gets exhausting being the one who always steps forward first.

Especially when your vulnerability is met with silence. Or defensiveness. Or a brick wall so emotionally fortified you start questioning whether the conversation was ever safe to begin with.

At a certain point, the desire to “do the healthy thing” starts competing with a very human urge to just say, you know what? Fine. F-it.

Not because you don’t care.
But because you’re tired of carrying the emotional labor for two people.

One thing I’ve learned both personally and professionally is that emotional intelligence is not equally distributed. Some people genuinely do not know how to tolerate vulnerability. Some people experience accountability as shame instead of connection. Some people would rather avoid, deflect, blame shift, or disappear entirely than sit in the discomfort of saying, “Yeah… I hurt you.”

And if you’re someone who wears your heart on your sleeve, that realization can feel deeply lonely.

The therapist in me understands where these patterns come from. Defense mechanisms usually exist for a reason. Ego often protects wounds. Avoidance can be rooted in fear.

But the human in me?
The diva in me?
Sometimes she just wishes other people would step up. Own it. Meet her halfway.

Because healing isn’t always about being the bigger person. Sometimes, it’s about realizing you’ve been extending grace, accountability, and emotional effort far beyond what was ever being returned to you.

And maybe the healthiest thing you can do isn’t to keep explaining yourself, but to quietly step back and let it go.

Am I the Drama? Maybe.

– LC